This is Jaimi and I thought that I would share some culture that I was able to experience on what was our first free day of the trip when we were in Denizli. My host, Zuhal explained to me that her mother’s friend’s son would be getting married and that the night before the wedding there is a traditional party for the bride and all of the women. I asked what to wear and made sure that I got approval from not just Zuhal, but also her mom before we left so I didn’t think much more about it. It turns out that there were probably over 300 women there and all but Zuhal and a couple of others were completely covered – head, long sleeves, skirts to their ankles. I don’t think that it was an issue, that I wasn’t, but I did hear them telling people that I was American a few times so it is hard to know for sure what else they said.

The party was interesting, but I didn’t understand most of it. Mixed nuts and bottles of orange pop were served. Zuhal told me that because the bride and groom are religious Muslim (meaning very traditional and the women all cover from head to toe) there would not be traditional dancing, but a theater type performance. It was a group of about a dozen high school girls who sang, danced and did skits. The songs were mostly praising Allah and the skits were about how to be a good wife. This lasted a couple of hours and then they did a ceremony where the mothers of the bride and groom put henna on the bride’s palms. Zuhal had them bring the tray of henna over to us when they were done and she showed me how the green henna will turn your hand red – in fact, I have a red circle on my left palm now, 5 days later*. It has gotten much lighter already because she did not leave the henna on my hand for very long. I was told that the bride leaves the henna on her hands for a few hours and it then lasts about a month. I have been given a few different explanations about why they do this and it seems that it is mostly because it is a tradition. They also say that the henna lasts a long time and so does the marriage. One person told me that it represented the bride’s purity.

The next night, we went to the wedding party. Zuhal told me that the party would last for 4 hours and that people would come and go but that there would be approximately 3,000 people all together. Many people were outside when we got there and we went in and said hello to the groom’s mother in a receiving line. The bride and groom were sitting on a small stage on covered/decorated chairs. We sat down at a table and were served dinner- soup, rice with meat and then ice cream. While we were eating they did the “signing ceremony” as Zuhal called it. An announcement was made that it was about to begin, but I didn’t notice that making any kind of change in what was going on. Then, I heard a female voice say one word and clapping. Zuhal said that the bride had just agreed to marry the groom. He said his one word (which meant “yes”) next and more clapping then back to eating as we had been.

We went up to the bride and groom and Zuhal pinned a gold coin on the groom. Tradition is to give gold or money to the newlyweds and they each wear a sash for people to pin their gift onto. Zuhal told me that the parents had arranged the marriage, but that the bride and groom had known each other for a couple of months and that it would have been possible for them to tell their parents that it was not who they wanted to marry. She also said that they do go on honeymoons just like we do.

Zuhal and I had some difficulties with translations, so I can’t guarantee that I got this all right. So, please realize that this post is my interpretation of what I saw and I really can’t say how normal it was for a pre-wedding and wedding ceremony. I can say that it was really interesting to see and I’m glad that I had a chance to experience it!

*Due to a lack of internet availability, it is now almost two weeks since this occurred and the henna has finally worn off of my palm.